On Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 3.24.27: the conditioned soul creates its own suffering through the false ego's conception of itself as the doer, and after long suffering the Lord descends to bring relief. The talk applies this to aging devotees: physical decline, dryness, and anxiety are an invitation to move from external to internal service. This is illustrated through the example of Sanātana Gosvāmī, as well as Śrīla Prabhupāda's final days with Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī and his sister Pīśimā.
Śrīla Prabhupāda writes that this material world is a place of suffering.
Duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam, Kṛṣṇa says in the Gītā. It's full of suffering and it's temporary. And this is due to the misdeeds of the inhabitants, the conditioned souls themselves. Well, in the Bhagavad-gītā we learn that the word ahaṅkāra, the false ego, means aham, me, and kāra, to do, kariṣyate karma. So the fools think that we are the doers. prakṛteḥ kriyamāṇāni guṇaiḥ karmāṇi sarvaśaḥ. Kṛṣṇa says it is My material nature that executes everything. However, ahaṅkāra-vimūḍhātmā kartāham iti manyate. Somebody who is afflicted by false ego, that means identifying with this material body, he thinks falsely that "I am the doer," kartāham iti manyate.
But we can understand that the spirit soul who is encased in this material body, just like somebody sitting on an exoskeleton in a machine, yantrārūḍhāni māyayā, made of material energy, we are not the doers. Just as driving a car, we do basically nothing. We are moving the wheels, and before we used to put in different gears, but now practically every car is automatic. You just push the gas and steer, and then the car is doing all the work of driving 110 down the highway towards Södertälje or Stockholm, while we are just sitting comfortably doing nothing. Same thing in the material body.
So how can we say that we are causing our own suffering because of our misdeeds? Well, the Vedas explain that the doings are happening through the material nature, but the sufferings are experienced and created by the soul proper. So we are actually guilty as charged. We can't blame anyone else but ourselves that we experience suffering. Highly transcendental individuals, and I say highly, like Prahlāda Mahārāja, Haridāsa Ṭhākura, they were exposed to enormous suffering: being beaten, thrown off a cliff, burnt by fire, poisoned, so many things. But because of their highly transcendental consciousness, at every second they had the protection of the Lord, goptṛtve... it's a sign of surrender. So because they felt completely protected by Kṛṣṇa, they didn't experience this as suffering.
And so this is kind of a material phenomena, this whole suffering, sukha and duḥkha. One may think that when Kṛṣṇa left the rāsa-līlā dance and left the gopīs in total agony and separation, one may think that this is such an intense suffering. Well, on one level, yes, but on the transcendental level, this intense separation actually escalates the pleasure and enjoyment in the hearts of the gopīs. So this is something that, speaking for myself, being materially conditioned, is very difficult to understand how so-called suffering can become the greatest transcendental bliss.
And like Lord Caitanya, when he was discussing this with Haridāsa Ṭhākura, that he has been beaten by 21 marketplaces, and he didn't die. So finally, one of these crooks that were beating him until they were really fatigued, "I only have one wish." "Yes, tell me, Haridāsa, what is your wish?" "Why don't you die so we have to stop beating?" And then he died. And then, of course, he came back again by his mystic power. And Lord Caitanya told him that actually, the reason why he didn't feel the pain and the suffering was that Mahāprabhu, He took the beatings. And Caitanya turned around and showed his back, where all the marks of the canes were on his back. So how can we understand this very mystic relationship between the protective Supreme Personality of Godhead and His pure devotees?
So the conditioned souls create their own suffering by our own acts, and our own acts follow a chain of command: thinking, feeling, willing, and doing. In Kali-yuga, it's said we have no reactions to what goes on in our mind. If we are a very sinful person, and we are able to control ourselves, so the sinful mentality stays within our own personality, there is not a reaction to that. It's only when it comes to fruition, when it manifests as an action, you decide to act, and then material nature arranges for the action to happen as a fruit of your sinful desires. Then there is a reaction. In other yugas, one would get karma from even thinking sinful acts, but in Kali-yuga it's fortunately so. However, what generally happens is that you go down that path, that you think, you feel, and you desire, and then you do.
So it's not that one can easily live a schizophrenic life of being very sinful and not commit sins through speaking, through your body. That will happen, Kṛṣṇa explains:
dhyāyato viṣayān puṃsaḥ
saṅgas teṣūpajāyate
saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ
kāmāt krodho 'bhijāyate
And then it follows, you fall down. If you don't nip the sinful activities in the bud in the mind, when you start contemplating the objects of your senses, that automatically leads to desire, you want to possess, you want to contact the sense object, and then it goes on and on, and at one point there is sinful reaction when it comes to action.
So the conditioned souls are basically engaged in two kinds of activities. Number one is sense gratification, number two is working hard to get sense gratification, that's called fruitive work. So this is the detrimental chain of... like we see today, people that go to work, to the office, work hard, and then they get a paycheck, and then they can purchase different things they would like, pay rent and food, but on top of that, they want to have things for sense gratification. So we don't have to elaborate on that topic, but that is the pitiful situation, which is called the suffering conditions in the material entanglement because of their own misdeeds.
So Kardama Muni says here that after a long time, kālena bhūyasā, kāla means time, and there's been suffering, then Kṛṣṇa will come. And this is one of the verses in the Bhagavad-gītā which practically every Hindu knows:
*yadā yadā hi dharmasya
glānir bhavati bhārata*
When dharma-glāniḥ, when there's a decline of religious duties, at that time Kṛṣṇa will come. And Prabhupāda explains here that He sets things right, He alleviates the condition.
And the devatās, the devas, they are great devotees. They become disturbed when there is a lot of sin going on in the material world. So at one point, they will plead to the Supreme Lord, "Only You can do something about this, this is too much." So was the case, for example, before Kṛṣṇa's birth, when Kaṃsa was ravaging, sinful king Kaṃsa. So the devatās, they came and asked Viṣṇu to please come and fix this. So He does, and He do destroy the vināśāya ca duṣkṛtām, the duṣkṛtīs, those who do the worst activities, the worst sins, cause the most suffering. He will destroy them, but He will also please, He will cause joy to the righteous, to the devotees, the devatās, others: paritrāṇāya sādhūnām. And then He will set things right by reestablishing the religious principles. This is a classic, how it works. So either He comes Himself, or He sends His empowered devotee, a śaktyāveśa-avatāra, to revolutionize the world through spreading religious principles, like that.
Now, kālena bhūyasā, this is after long time and much suffering. I hope that by the end of our discussion today we will also realize how the physical decline of the material body, and the experience that also devotees feel, of being disturbed by different ailments, pains, and maybe dryness, and the kind of feeling sometimes of mechanical routine in our practice of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, we will realize that these are not actually impediments for our advancement. They are the exact required catalyst meant to force our entry into unalloyed and internal absorption in Kṛṣṇa. Because the less you are capable of accomplishing physically, getting up in the morning, dragging this śarīra-avidyā-jāla to the temple room floor, and make obeisances and, it all getting much more difficult by age. But the less we can do physically, the more we can focus internally.
So we may have spent 30, 40, 50 years of chanting the holy names and studying the philosophy, the śāstra promises the devotional service is ever-fresh, just like Kṛṣṇa, nava-yauvanam. Why then, as the material clock advances, do we often experience, I mean speaking for myself, some creeping dryness, lack of physical capacity for sevā, and a subtle anxiety concerning the final exam of life: will I actually make it? What will happen? If bhakti is independent of the body, why does the aging of the body seem to threaten our inner stability sometimes? Well, why do we expect a material vehicle, which is designed by nature to decay, why do we expect it to yield permanent spiritual enthusiasm?
For a dedicated Vaiṣṇava, the loss of physical capacity is not just a medical issue. It feels like a loss of identity sometimes, when you can no longer stand up for kīrtana, you can no longer cook large feasts, or manage extensive projects. Then the mind falsely whispers, "Your service is over. You're no longer useful for the mission," right? Well, this physical limitation creates room for the second attack, that the routine turns into dryness. The initial excitement of early days is replaced by mechanical habit. Finally, the mind exploits this dryness by introducing anxiety about the end of life. "What's happening to me?" We wonder if we have done enough, if our consciousness is pure enough, and if we are truly ready.
Well, let's be absolutely clear on what the resolution is not. The solution to this anxiety is not material stoicism, nor is it an artificial attempt to rejuvenate a failing body. Starting to go to the gym when one is 80, or eating all kinds of proteins or I don't know, like that. One should keep in shape, Prabhupāda said, first comes health. But, and it's not either a bitter mental resignation from the world, "Okay, I gave my whole life to Kṛṣṇa consciousness and where am I now?" 70 plus.
Well, consider the behavior of Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī. As an elder leader in our sampradāya, he developed severe weeping skin sores while traveling through the Jhārikhaṇḍa forest. And because his body was weak and oozing, he felt he could no longer perform his duties, or visit the temple, without contaminating others. He concluded that his body has become useless for sevā, and resolved to end his life beneath the wheels of the Jagannātha ratha-yātrā cart. Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu immediately caught his mind. He embraced Sanātana Gosvāmī's ailing body, running sores and all, and delivered a heavy reorientation: "Sanātana, your body belongs to me. You are choosing to destroy property which is not yours. I have many tasks to fulfill through you: the excavation of the holy places, the writing of bhakti-śāstra, the establishing of Vaiṣṇava etiquette. Do not mistake physical adversity for spiritual disqualification."
So in today's verse, Kardama Muni he uses the words kālena bhūyasā, by the ultimate influence of time. And Śrīla Prabhupāda explains this perfectly in the purport by pointing to the first verse of the Gurv-aṣṭakam: saṃsāra-dāvānala-līḍha-loka. There are always forest fires coming, and we can't blame anybody, they just come automatically through the friction. So, a forest fire is not lit by a human hand, generally. It occurs because of the wind blows, and bamboo, they rub against one another. And this friction creates heat. The heat creates a spark, and then the entire forest burns down.
So, the material body and the mind, they are like these dry bamboo trees. As long as you are in this world, time, kāla, will blow. The friction of an aging body, deteriorating health, and a tired mind will automatically generate the fire of dryness and anxiety. You cannot stop the bamboo from rubbing together, that's the law of nature. Therefore, looking for peace by trying to fix the physical friction is an exercise of futility, it will not work.
What is the true resolution? The forest fire cannot be extinguished by water buckets or by fire brigades. It requires a massive downpour from a cloud. And that cloud is the mercy of the spiritual master, and the descent of the Lord's sound vibration. Kardama Muni notes that the Lord descends priyatānām, for our pleasure, to relieve this exact distress. He comes personally, like 500 years ago plus, He sends His empowered devotee, a śaktyāveśa-avatāra, to extinguish this forest fire, and He comes as the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. So, the best way to attack these things is to sit and become a good recipient for the mercy rain of the spiritual master and Śrī Kṛṣṇa.
So, for a senior Vaiṣṇava, the aging process is Kṛṣṇa's mercy, cutting the final ropes of external dependence. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam states, the Lord appears to extinguish the fire of time. We do not fix the rubbing bamboos, we wait for the rain cloud. And Śrīla Prabhupāda demonstrated that in the late of 1977, when his body was completely non-functional, he did not retire, he just shifted entirely into internal sevā of translating the Bhāgavatam until his very last breath.
So the transition from youth to old age is a transition from bāhya-sevā, external labor, to antara-sevā, internal absorption. Kṛṣṇa is taking away your ability to do so, that you are finally forced to simply be His internal servant. So there's a shift from do to be, when we grow older. So we should not look at our physical limitations as a sign that our devotional career is ending. Look at them as a direct invitation from Kṛṣṇa to drop the external management of life and step into the inner chamber.
*ye me bhakta-janāḥ pārtha
na me bhaktāś ca te janāḥ
mad-bhaktānāṃ ca ye bhaktās
te me bhaktatamā matāḥ*
"O Pārtha, those who say they are My devotees are not actually My devotees. But those who are the devotees of My devotees are considered to be Me, the topmost devotees." Why do I quote this verse from the Ādi Purāṇa? Well, one can never stop caring for other Vaiṣṇavas in one way or the other, even if you can just sit down and listen and talk confidentially about personal realizations, about Kṛṣṇa's pastimes or whatever. There is a more shift. When you are a younger devotee you are very eager to perform, to accomplish. We used to have the saṅkīrtana, we had the scores list, and everybody wants to come on top in that, number one. We remember some of our godbrothers and godsisters were extremely good at giving out books, and they were given very much respect and praise. And, "Yes, we accomplished." But how much does the score list mean to us today? Not much, for us personally, but...
So, we, as we get older, we can put more emphasis in developing more loving relationship, camaraderie, between devotees. And just reading the Jaiva-dharma, there are four ways that Vaiṣṇavas, let's say the mid-range Vaiṣṇavas, relate to other people. So there's two categories of other people. One category is Kṛṣṇa. So to Him we invest our prema. But then we have all the other beings, like our, the peer devotees. We have maitrī, friendship. And with the innocent and neophyte devotees, we give kṛpā, mercy. And to the inimical or envious people, we utilize upekṣā, indifference. We don't want to have anything to do with them.
So, with the devotees, if we are fortunate enough to live in a holy place where there is ample access to other Vaiṣṇavas, we develop this sense of care. And that we can do even with a failing body, and even when you get very, very old. I wanted to read something to you which was quite nice, the last days of... One devotee was giving his testimony on Prabhupāda just had a few weeks left on the planet. And, yeah, a few more points also from this devotee. Maybe some of you have watched the clip, it's on YouTube, very fresh, BB Govinda Swami, right? But he, as a central theme, he was saying that devotees often broadcast love and compassion to the outside world. Every new person, we sit down and take care and explain. But sometimes we forget to apply it internally. So, this Mahārāja there urges the community to stop being judgmental and to focus on actively nourishing and caring for one another.
Embracing spiritual life doesn't mean the end of physical and emotional hardship. The speaker points out to historical figures like Queen Kuntī, Yudhiṣṭhira, Haridāsa Ṭhākura, to show that even the most elevated souls experience some type of suffering.
So, there's this touching story before Prabhupāda passed away in Vṛndāvana. There was one probably Prabhupāda's favorite godbrother, pure devotee by the name Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī. He came, and he demanded to immediately see Śrīla Prabhupāda. And his, Prabhupāda's servant, went to Prabhupāda, he was laying there, and said, "Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī wants to immediately see you." And then Prabhupāda said that, "You should immediately let him in." So, he came into the room. And he immediately bounced on the bed where Śrīla Prabhupāda was lying.
And Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī was known for his constant chanting. He was chanting like one lakh names a day. And there's another recording from 1976, I also found it on YouTube, where he's chanting Guru-vandanā prayers and you can hear his voice is not from this world. He was constantly chanting japa or chanting bhajanas, like that, so...
Prabhupāda was severely ill at the end, very weak. But those two pure devotees, they immediately started cracking jokes with one another. And they were bantering back and forth in deep spiritual friendship. Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī used to say something, and Prabhupāda was laughing, and then Prabhupāda said something and Akiñcana, they went on like that for some time. And then Prabhupāda wanted Bābājī to sing a bhajana, which he did, sweet bhajana that brought Prabhupāda great comfort. And then Bābājī Mahārāja said, "Well, now I have to leave." Prabhupāda said, "Wait, you can't leave. Must have mahā-prasādam." So Prabhupāda was insisting, so his servant was running and he brought him two very simple pieces of besan laḍḍu, chickpea laḍḍu, in a leaf cup. So despite the absolute simplicity of the sweets, Bābājī Mahārāja he accepted them with overwhelming reverence and gratitude. And then he exited the guest house.
And then he encountered Prabhupāda's younger sister, Pīśimā. She was born three years after Prabhupāda in 1899. And she also passed away three years after Prabhupāda, so they had the exact same lifespan. They became 80, 81 years old. And in 1980, just before she passed away, I had the great fortune of getting personal darśana with Pīśimā, as her name was. She was initiated by Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī as Bhavatāriṇī Devī Dāsī. And very simple, withdrawn, humble pure devotee from birth, Prabhupāda said, and probably the greatest cook in the universe. Whenever Prabhupāda, she used to come and cook for him, and especially when he got ill, she was famously making his favorite kachorīs. Nobody could make kachorīs than his sister. So, I had a very brief darśana with her and she was, old, and very much bent over like this, probably from rolling capātīs, or bending over the pots because Prabhupāda always wanted his sister to cook whenever there was opportunity, like that.
So, Bābājī Mahārāja met with her outside the guest house in Vṛndāvana. She was sitting on the steps. And one thing that struck this devotee telling the story, and it also struck me, she looked almost exactly like Prabhupāda, had the same face. It's very striking. Very closely resemblance. But she was bent over, and she immediately wanted to touch Akiñcana Kṛṣṇadāsa Bābājī's lotus feet, like this. But out of profound humility, the Bābājī he kind of withdrew and laughing, and she got very upset, she chastised, "No, no, no, no, no, I have to take your lotus dust." And okay, he said, and he put his feet, and then he took back the feet again and she went like this. You see, between two pure devotees, humor and so many feelings. When she finally managed to take the dust from his feet, she reverently rubbed it over her eyes and head, and heart, in fully immersive sensory experience of devotion.
And then Bābājī Mahārāja offered her the simple laḍḍus that he had just received, like even though Pīśimā, Bhavatāriṇī Devī Dāsī, is known all over the holy island world as one of the best sweet cooks, or best cooks general, on earth, she made tons of laḍḍus in her life, she accepted the simple sweet with great gratitude from the hands of, in the form of Kṛṣṇa's direct mercy. And in return, she shared drops of Gaṅgā-jala, Ganges water, from a little bottle she always carried around her, of herself. And later, she was asked why she always kept that little bottle of Gaṅgā-jala in her hand. Well, she was strikingly humble. She explained that, just like we can also elderly Vaiṣṇavas can think that our bodies are not very palatable, she said that she viewed her material body as so nasty and contaminated, that she felt that she polluted wherever she sat. So she constantly sprinkled holy water to purify everything that she had touched. Very remarkable.
So, we can see that they are setting the example of the loving relationship one can develop, also between elderly Vaiṣṇavas. We know the limitations, and then dadāti pratigṛhṇāti, can exchange gifts, guhyam ākhyāti pṛcchati, we can exchange confidential talks, personal talks, and bhuṅkte bhojayate caiva, like, exchange pieces of laḍḍu, something like that.
So, and one comforting thing is that, I think it was from the Garuḍa Purāṇa, where Viṣṇu says that, "If the devotee in his old age or her old age are not capable to remember me properly, especially at the moment of death, because of pains or ailments or the disturbed mind," that's the perfection, ante kāle ca mām eva, you're supposed to remember Kṛṣṇa when you leave the body, but if you're unable to remember Him, He said there in the Garuḍa Purāṇa, "then I will remember My devotee." So this is very comforting, I think. And while we're still present, we can go more and more internally, and do sevā in our minds. Because time pass and there will be suffering in different ways.
Okay, I will stop here, and if there is a question or comment. Yes, Mahārāja?